A Hole in the Soul
My affliction is alcoholism. You might call it addiction or disease or any number of labels that are thrown around today, but essentially it has been my symptom of my personal hole in the soul.

Those of us with a hole in the soul might manifest in alcoholism, binge shopping, over spending, over eating, excessive gambling, drug addictions, or any of the sexual deviations such as lesbianism, homosexuality, porn or any other kind of sex addiction. That idea is not in tune with today’s attitudes of political correctness.

I was a practicing drunk for twenty-eight years and sober for thirty-six, so I have sixty-four years of active participation and earnest study of these conditions, attitudes and maladies.

Only the drug of choice differs, whether it be whiskey, food, sex, work (as in workaholic) or shopping. The resulting personality disorder remains the same and in rooted in spiritual deficiency. Thus, a hole in the soul.

The best remedy so far for this absolutely prideful and stubborn group is the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous ( and as conformed to in other twelve step programs) where we learn to empty our souls and confess our shortcomings and attempt to learn about humility. This drill is preparation and rehearsal for the true spiritual awakening; an encounter with the Living God.

I have sat in thousands of these twelve step meeting over a period of thirty-nine years. I have sponsored more than two hundred of these addicted personalities in addition to living it out myself. Pride and stubbornness is at the core. The unwillingness to accept a power greater than self and a need to be the master of your own destiny is a the core of the thinking of all of us with this malady.

The good news is when the pendulum swings and the change in personality takes place, the negative traits are transformed into the positive.

Stubbornness becomes determination, hate becomes love, and taking becomes giving. The transformation begins to take hold and a child of God is born or born again as we say. I believe God loves these who are addictive fools with a hole in their souls. He knows that when they finally do surrender, they can become fools for Christ.

When that happens, the hole is covered and the wound is healed.

David Howell
Prison Evangelism, Inc.
PO Box 571977
Houston, Texas 77257